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My Next Life - By Woody Allen

 
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My Next Life - By Woody Allen

Woody Allen describes why he wants his next life to be in reverse, starting old and getting younger.

Tags: funny, clever & amusing, comedy, woody allen, comedian, age, thought - Views: 1,532,640
 
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50 comments
Comments

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    11

    Woody Allen Got home late one day and his wife met him at the door and with her arms crossed said I want a divorce.

    A Divorce why?

    I heard you are a pedophile.

    A pedophile? My that's a mighty big word for a 12 year old.

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    7

    he forgot about having sex with minors and marrying your wife's daughter...and how he likes to be a pervert...

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    6

    I thought this was the script to The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    3

    Age inappropriate. Socially insensitive. Bad taste. Weird. Yes, all of those and more, but strictly speaking not paedophilia. Lots of men and women have much younger partners although not under the same unusual circumstances. Never the less it it not fair to brand him as a child molester. It is his business and he has not broken any laws. I could never do it just like most people but we need to be more tolerant since he has done nothing wrong technically speaking....

    But WHAT WAS HE THINKING?????

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    3

    This is bullshit, the guy that invented this phrase was an argentinian named Quino!!

    • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
      0

      Hey i'm really interested in figuring out who came up with this, i've read the quino version too and well deffinately someone coppied someone, and i want to know who was the original, do you have any proof with dates of publication?

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    2

    this wasn't by him, it was by george carlin

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    2

    not Woody Allen or Carlin or Rooney...

    It was written by a comedian named Sean Morey

    source:

    http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/rooney3.asp

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    1

    I don't really care who came up with it first, it's still funny.

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    1

    This is dangerously close to the Karl Pilkington way of thinking!

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    1

    sorry... is QUINO... hahhaha

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    1

    Oh, BTW, darn Woody Allen.

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    1

    I'm pretty sure this is actually a George Carlin quote.

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    0

    woody isn't a paedophile, and learn how to spell, you darning douchebags.

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    0

    Idiots! The whole lot of ya.

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    0

    Ya and Johnathan Winters used this on Mork and Mindy too... I bet it's been being' said for ages by many thoughtful souls :~>

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    0

    Exactly!, it wasnt from Woody, George costanza says that in a seinfeld episode i remmy it

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    0

    This is Sean Morey's bit. YOu can find it verified at Snopes.com

  • + Anonymous: wrote 2 years ago
    0

    This is accredited to the wrong person; It's actually from Sean Morey's "Reverse Life Cycle"

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    0

    At age 65 you get touched by a 12 year old in his big wheels? Thats a weird life Woody Allen.

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    0

    Woody Allen DID NOT WRITE THIS! Quino (who happens to look very much alike) did.

  • + Anonymous: wrote 2 years ago
    0

    It was on Seinfeld amazing personS

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    0

    This was stolen off of seinfeld

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    0

    Bah this is a copy of what quino wrote once...

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    0

    What the darn are you guys talking about? So he married his wife's daughter! We live in a pretty darning backwards world. This is amazing! The guy was hilarious! Ever seen one of his movies? BRILLIANT.

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    0

    charlie chaplin said that.

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    0

    george costanza says that in a seinfeld episode

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    0

    this quote was said by someone else

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    0

    Costanza said it better.

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    0

    He forgot to mention closet pedophile. Oh, wait, that's this lifetime. My bad.

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    0

    I read that George Costanza said that too, but read somewhere ELSW that George CARLIN did.

    Now, who did say that, really?

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    0

    that's George!

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    0

    people need to stop reposting this and crediting it to other people

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    0

    who cares the comment is right

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    0

    That is pretty much EXACTLY the premise of the book Counter-Clock World by Philip K. Dick.

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    0

    the original is in spanish, by TRINO...

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    0

    these are george costanza's words

    • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
      3

      first of all, woody allen is a real person and has been around A LOT longer then george costanza who is a fictional that is based semi on woody allen and semi on larry david. I think it's safe to say woody allen said this first.

      • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
        2

        George Carlin is a real person, and not a douche bag like Pedo Allen

      • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
        0

        Actually, Woody Allen is an artsy douche. George Costanza is fictional, George Carlin is very much real and equally sadly, deceased.

        George Carlin said it and if you imagine him saying it, its so much funnier...

        However, I'm happy to credit Woody Allen with a famous quote of his:

        "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying."

      • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
        0

        LOL!

        Thanks man...somenone needed to say that.

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    0

    What l find funny is that people actually go to Snopes to verify something.

    Don't you people realise that Snopes is NOT a THINK TANK, but just an ordinary couple trying to bilk out a living out of gullible ignorant public.

    SHOW ME THE CREDENTIALS!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    0

    I've now seen this credited to Andy Rooney (first time I saw it), George Carlin (second), and Woody Allen (third). Who actually started this quote, anyone have some facts? My curiosity is piqued.

  • + Anonymous: wrote 3 years ago
    0

    This would be Ideal, but if you agree, there is something wrong.